Parshas Vayeishev

In this week's parsha, we learn about the strained relationship between Yosef and his brothers. The Torah tells us "v'hu na'ar", which Rashi elaborates as referring to the fact that he would busy himself with his hair. The difficulty with this is twofold: first of all, was Yosef really so materialistic that he would be so obsessed with his hair? And second of all, even if so, why use the word "na'ar" - meaning "child" - to describe his preoccupation with it?

The answer is that Yosef was not obsessed with the style or appearance of his hair; rather, Rashi is referring to the fact that he was constantly cutting it every day, and keeping it neat. Yosef knew from his dreams that he was destined to be king someday, and since the Rambam rules that a king must have his hair cut every single day so as to look presentable (as befits a king), Yosef was preparing himself for the role by starting to do so already while he was young.

So why does the pasuk use the word "na'ar", implying childishness? Because it was not his place to start acting like a king before his time came. A child does not understand how to wait for something; rather he demands instant gratification. So too, Yosef was acting like a king before he was supposed to, and thus the pasuk refers to his actions using the word "na'ar". There was no need for him to get an early start - when it is bashert for something to happen, it will happen, even on its own. Indeed, when his time finally did come, everything fell into place on its own - Pharoah had him removed from the dungeon and ordered that his hair be cut for him, without any intervention by Yosef himself.

There are times in life when we think we see ahead of time the path that Hashem has in mind for us, and we attempt to "jump the gun" and pursue it, only to be disappointed when things don't work out quite as we expected. We must learn from this week's parsha that everything has its time and place. Hashem has in mind exactly what will happen to us and exactly what we will get, and there is no need for us to try to take matters into our own hands. When the time is ripe, Hashem will orchestrate everything perfectly. All we have to do is wait patiently - and daven.